I know small children need to go to synagogue with dad (and mom, too, if she's willing) so they'll feel comfortable with the service.
Note I wrote "comfortable," not "at home."
I am a curmudgeon. I won't deny it.
I also raised three children in a synagogue environment. My three did not run around disturbing others, my wife and I saw to that. (I also let them leave the sanctuary for parts of the service - how long was dependent on their age at the time.) I am not bragging, just stating a fact.
I have been in Ashkenazi and Sefardi congregations in the U.S. and Israel. I have been in observant, Conservative, and - one Purim - Reform synagogues.
But only in Sefardi congregations in America are children allowed to run wild.
But then . . .
DECORUM
There are some things that you learn by being a regular or by having a parent teach you as a youngster.
For example, you do not walk immediately in front of a person praying the Shmonah Esray (18/Amedah).
The reason I gave my children is that the person could be bowing as the unlearned person crossed in front, making it appear that the person praying the prayer was, G-d forbid, bowing to the person.
It also is distracting even to a person with his (or her) nose buried in the sedur (as it should be; the prayer is not to be recited by rote; it must be read).
Today we had a young lad - maybe 6 or 7 years old - going in front of people trying to read the pray, insisting that those praying stop and shake his hand. He's a good boy, but his father needs to keep him close by his side.
Unfortunately there were several adults who also insisted on walking in front of people at prayer.
It's one thing to walk in front of a person on the way to the bathroom, but on the way back … wait until everyone has taken their three steps back.
This, unfortunately, is not limited to Sefardi congregations nor to observant congregations; I've seen it in Conservative congregations as well.
My tradition (Moroccan) holds that if you are standing when someone begins to recite a kadesh, you remain standing until the last "amen." Based on what I see where I regularly make minyan, this is not universal. (Many north African traditions seem not "universal." Pity.)
I don't know why people think that when the haftarah is being read it is time to get up, walk around, and chat with your neighbor. Didn't they get a chance to chat when the Torah was being carried from the ark to the amud?
Maybe someone should paraphrase the Fiddler song Tradition to Decorum and list how synagogue goers should behave.
It really is upsetting for a curmudgeon to have to suffer inappropriate behavior, but I don’t think it will get any better anytime soon.
TRIVIA What can you do with the U.S. and Canadian flags that you cannot do with the Israeli flag?
Fly them upside down as a sign of distress (typically on a floundering ship at sea).
