Common courtesy

A funny thing.

Fellow sent me an email asking me to review and comment on a document he wrote.

I responded to his email and asked where I could find the document.

I received an almost instant auto-response telling me

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I apologize for this automatic reply to your email.

To control spam, I now allow incoming messages only from senders I have approved beforehand.

If you would like to be added to my list of approved senders, please fill out the short request form (see link below). Once I approve you, I will receive your original message in my inbox. You do not need to resend your message. I apologize for this one-time inconvenience.

Click the link below to fill out the request:

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Now this person is not the only correspondent I have that has a similar set up and, frankly, I don't blame them.

But it seems to me if I am invited to respond, the spam catcher should be told to pass my mail to the person's inbox.

Often when we signup for a list we get an email telling us to add the list FROM address to our address book - apparently some email services can be told to look at the address book and to redirect to the Spam folder any email from an address not found in the address book.

I consider it common courtesy to open the gate for someone I invited to come in (send me an email).

Maybe it's an "age" thing.

Like holding a door for a lady.

Or walking between a lady and the curb ("kerb" to my friends on the other side of the pond).

I know young women today who find it "sexist" if a man rushes to be a "gentleman."

Whatever the case, I took umbrage when I received the email telling me my post was rejected. (Turns out it got through anyway.)

Common courtesy.

It's not a big deal to BE courteous, but it could be a big deal to someone who is on the receiving end.

Yohanon
Yohanon.Glenn @ gmail.com

Looking for book on avelut

I am looking for a book on North African customs (minhagim) on bekur holim and avelut (visiting the sick and mourning).

Specifically, I'm trying to find

Zichron Yitzhak - Bikur Holim v'Dinei Avelut (shel Yahadut Tzfon Africa)

It could be

Zichron Yitzhak - Dinei Avelut v'Bikur Holim

but it makes more sense to visit the sick first.

It is a small (about 5*7 inches or so), not-very-thick book in Hebrew.

If you know where I can find/buy this book, please share the information. My email is

Yohanon.Glenn @ gmail.com

Thanks

Israeli companies in the US

Over the years - and they are many - that I have been in the work force, I have been employed by US firms in the US, Japanese companies in the US, British companies in the US, and Israeli companies in the US.

I've worked all manner of jobs - since '79, mostly "white collar" but an occasional "blue collar" job in the mix. Sometimes as a consultant, sometimes as a staffer.

With the exception of the Israeli companies in the US, my immediate boss' were non-Jewish Americans. (At the Japanese company, my boss' boss was Egyptian, but that's another - interesting - story.)

I also worked for Israeli organizations - Tel Aviv University and Tadiran Electronics (then) - in Israel.

In all cases but two, when I announced that I would

• be leaving early on Fridays during the winter months
• be taking off for a Jewish holy day

management's reaction was positive.

In one case, when I was at Oki Electronics (the Japanese firm), John Orr, my boss, would appear at my desk Friday afternoons around 4 p.m. (this was in Florida and the sun set later), pointing to his watch and reminding me to "go home."

John wasn't Jewish. I don't even know what he is, if anything.

But I do know he respected my observance.

In Israel, "back in the day," there was no question about working on Shabat.

At the university, I worked 5 and a half days and hoped I caught the first bus back to the apartment. At Tadiran, I worked 5 days (Sunday-Thursday) and did the pre-Shabat chores while the Spouse did a half day at her teaching job.

Even under pressure of proposal development, come Friday afternoon, Tadiran shut down.

Holidays? Closed.

'Course we only had one first/last day, so that made it a little more tolerable for the employer.

In the US, I'm forced to use up vacation days for observances. But people are understanding when they see time off requests scatted across the calendar.

Except

Except for the two Israeli companies.

In both cases, management wanted the company to be an "American" company.

Management was, by and large, not observant. Most of the Israelis sent over were not observant. (There was the guy who, on Yom Kippur, took a cigarette break at the front entrance of the synagogue. Ah, but to his credit he DID come to services on Kippur.)

In management's effort to "be American" they overlooked the basic American principle: respect others' beliefs.

Mind you, when it came to an American holiday (e.g., Thanksgiving) or a non-Jewish religious holiday, THAT was different. Shut the shop.

I have no problem with that; most of the other employees were not Jewish and celebrated those holidays either as religious events or simply days off.

But come Friday afternoon, one Israeli boss and his #1 assistant would take umbrage when I left early.

At the other company, all employees were invited to the annual Christmas party - that's how it was billed. The party always was at a restaurant where my spouse and I could not eat, yet we were expected to participate.

On the flip side, when I worked for DMR Consulting Group (now Japan's Fujitsu Consulting), my wife and I always were served kosher meals - not always fancy, but always kosher.

In their effort to become "American" companies, the Israelis overlooked one key item: respect for individuals.

Most American managers understand this, although some consider personnel a "renewable resource."

The Israelis apparently never learned the basic American lesson.

Pity.

Given the choice of working for an Israeli company in the US or any other company in the US, I'll go with the "any other company" option.

It's a sad day when you're made to feel like the late Rodney Dangerfield at your own work place.

Yohanon

9th of Av

For the uninitiated, the 9th of the Jewish month of Av commemorates a number of disasters, including the destruction of the two Temples in Jerusalem.

During the first 9 days of the month, semi-mourning practices are in place.

Tisha b'Av, the 9th of Av, is surpassed only by Yom Kippor as a day of restraint, and most Jews give at least a passing acknowledgement of the day.

I like to think of myself as an observant Jew. (I dislike the terms "orthodox," "conservative," reform" et al - in the end, a Jew is a Jew is a ...)

But I don't observe Tisha b'Av for the destruction of the Temples.

I don't observe Tisha b'Av for the dispersion of the people to all parts of the planet.

I don't even observe Tisha b'Av for the other, later, events tacked on to the rabbinically ordained fast day.

Yet I do observe the fast.

If not for the Temples and the dispersion and the "other, later events" than why?

We are told that the reason the Temples were destroyed was "senot henam" - senseless hatred.

Not idolatry, which was rampant in Jerusalem even in Solomon's time.

Not for lack of religious practice or enthusiasm.

Because we hated one another.

The Sadducees vs. the Pharisees.

The learned vs. the unlearned.

The "pious" vs. the "less pious."

The "city folk" vs. the "country folk."

The priests vs. the simple, untitled person.

That's why the Temples were destroyed, the rabbis say. That's why the later events occurred.

But that's history.

Unfortunately, it still is "history in the making."

We still have not learned our lesson.

We still indulge in "senot henam."

As I wrote earlier, I dislike the labels applied to us.

Helonee (non-observant), datee (religious), hasid (pious), tzdek (righteous); orthodox, conservative, reform, liberal, humanist, reconstruction.

We need to get rid of all the labels and recognize the common denominator: we all are Jews.

Outside the "clan," we all are human beings, "bnai adam" with a lower case "a", or "bnai Adam" - children of Adam.

There is a reason the Torah teaches us that we all spring from the same parents (and science seems to agree - but that comes as no surprise to me); it is to tell us that we all are the same, albeit with individual capabilities and talents.

I see far too many "orthodox" Jews behave in a way contrary to Torah - I'm thinking of the haradim of Mea Sharim who go out of their way to throw rocks on travelers who violate Shabat - a person could be murdered because of a thrown rock; even the act of picking up the rock on Shabat is forbidden.

Likewise I see many "reform" who loudly denigrate observant Jews for their "outdated" practices. "Keeping kosher was something for hot climates" as if avoiding pork is the essence of kashrut and Judaism.

As long as we - first Jews because we are "chosen" to be an example to the world (sometimes a very heavy burden) but in the end, all of humankind - continue to hate each other for our differences, Tisha b'Av will have its place in our lives.

When will we ever learn?

Yohanon
Yohanon.Glenn @ gmail.com