I've never heard the prohibition mentioned by a religious leader, but it was enforced in our home - until this year.
For some reason, my normally outspoken Spouse never challenged the decision to follow the Torah's injunction - until this year.
Over the years, the prohibition has caused us some grief.
We had a very dear "Dutch Aunt" who very much wanted to join our seder. We wanted her presence; we valued her wisdom. But . . .
All that is, sadly, "past tense."
But to paraphrase The Main Question of the holiday, why is this year different from all other (previous) years?
Because this year the Spouse challenged the prohibition.
She didn't challenge the Torah; we are observant and accept the Torah as "set in concrete." Still, like the U.S. Constitution, it is a living document subject to interpretation by people who are knowledgeable and who follow certain "rules of interpretation."
What she did was to suggest that perhaps the prohibition applied only to the korban, the sacrifice, and specifically the sacrifice immediately before our exodus from Egypt.
I'm not sure where she got the idea to challenge our current mind set - our walls are lined with books of all varieties and from all perspectives and in several languages, and the Spouse is very much a reader, but she also is an independent thinker, something I value highly.
Not being a hakham (a particularly intelligent person, usually equating to a "subject matter expert" or, within the fold, a Sephardi/Mizrachi religious leader of some renown), and with the advantages of email, we asked several sources.
From one source we received two independent responses which, strangely enough, were in agreement. Another source provided a dissenting view.
The two-for-one source, the Orthodox Union or "OU," suggested that today a "nokar" may be invited to a seder. Even the dissenting voice agreed that if a "nokar" happened to appear - say, as part of a mixed marriage or as someone's guest who just tagged along (please - if anyone intends that surprise, warn the hosts in advance so a place can be set at the table). "Shalom biet" is the watchword - and it especially needs to be watched as we near the last cup of wine.
There were some concerns on how to treat the "nokar." but the bottom line for us is that the seder is no longer just for us.
It means, as I read it, that we should open our door to all when, as the hagadah tells us to do, we invite "all who are hungry" to come and eat.
Maybe this year, in addition to the Cup of Elijah we will set a place in honor of the "Dutch Aunt" who no longer is with us.
yohanon
No comments:
Post a Comment