Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Opuscula

Airplane
Roulette

MY SPOUSE USUALLY makes all the long-distance travel arrangements. I get to make the arrangements to go to my barber.

She likes Spain’s Iberia Airlines.1

Iberia consistently has the second lowest fares between MIA and TLV. (Turkish Air has lower prices, but with Recep Tayyip Erdoğan running Turkey — and following the attack on a U.S. ship docked at a Turkish port — flying via Turkey is not an option.)

We were booked on an Iberian (IB) flight that was not an IB flight.

The flight was operated by American Airlines (AA).

IB has code sharing with a number of other airlines, including El Al (LY).2

 

MIA > BCN > TLV

AA flew us in a 777-something from MIA to BCN. I like BCN better than MAD, but this time it would not make a difference.

A fellow minyan maker kindly drove us to MIA and dropped us at the AA Departure doors.

Our baggage was checked and wheel chairs requested. We were wheeled to a waiting area (wheel chair transfer point) where we waited until time to clear TSA.

TSA is a farce that depends solely on technology. I was forced out of the wheel chair to be scanned; lacking balance, this is a difficult task. Credit where it is due, the TSA guy did his job quickly.

Once past TSA we were wheeled to the AA waiting area for our IB flight “operated by” AA.

MIA wheel chair pushers accept tips. (I don’t know what they are paid. Most service workers in the U.S. depend on tips.)

AA provided pushers to the plane’s door and we found our seats.

The flight was uneventful; the kosher meal was OK.

We arrived at BCN and were instructed to wait onboard until a special lift arrived. The lift was a scissor bus that, once all of us were on board, lowered itself to “normal” mode. We were driven to a secure transfer point where airport personnel took control.

From the secure transfer point we were wheeled to the Spanish equivalent of TSA where we were again inspected for contraband.

 

Keep in mind we cleared inspection in the U.S. and never were out of sight of security personnel.

 

We were wheeled to the waiting area for our flight to TLV.

All flights from anywhere direct to an Israeli destination have a pre-boarding check by Israeli security.

The Israelis wisely determine risks based on profiling, a practice banned in the U.S.

No need to take off shoes or belt, no need to empty pockets. The answers to a few innocuous questions determine Go or No Go.

When the LY flight was ready to board we were pushed to the door of another 777-something and found our seats.

Like the AA flight, the LY leg was OK; nothing to write home about.

As before, anyone needing assistance was told to remain seated until wheel chairs were at the door.

At TLV we were transferred from a chair to a cart and then back to a chair. We quickly cleared passport control — there is a special booth for handicapped passengers — collected our baggage and met our son-in-law and our favorite grand-daughter. It’s OK to play favorites; she’s our ONLY grand-daughter.

 

What did I do until time to board the return flight? It’s all at
http://yohanon.blogspot.com/2019/07/

 

TLV > MAD > MIA

Unlike the U.S., I never have been able to download boarding passes for flights from TLV, Security? Probably.

Security at TLV begins before the passenger gets to the airline’s counter.

People queue up for the “20 questions” review.

Where did you go in Israel?

Did you pack your own bags?

And so on.

This may be the passenger’s first encounter with profiling. It won’t be the last.

Leftists will be disappointed when they see Arabs pass the checkpoint faster than some Jews. This lack of discrimination prevails throughout all inspections.

Once past the initial Q&A session, baggage usually is electronically scanned. I may be ordered to prove my two bottles of arak really ARE two bottles of arak; that won’t be a first … and I’m a Jew traveling on an Israeli passport !

Being handicapped — I am pushed from point to point in a wheelchair — has its advantages.

The main advantages is going to the front of the line.

Some in line may take umbrage with this, but during the trip to and from Israel, no one grumbled. At least no one in my hearing.

I was pushed from the initial Q&A to the airline’s counter to collect my boarding passes and to drop off my single suitcase. (It contained everything, including a computer — no carry on to burden me.)

Good thinking In most airports I have to pass through a metal detector frame and often stand still for a moment. My metal cane goes through another process.

In Israel, my metal cane was taken and I was given a wooden cane to use as I passed throuogh the frame.

Good thinking on someone's part.

I’m a diplomat

Not really, but that’s where wheelchairs are bound for outgoing passengers. I doubt the inspection is any less severe than the regular check, but because there are no lines it is much faster.

My pusher, a delightful young woman, had me transfer to an electric cart for the long jaunt to the designated flight departure area. Wisely — she has done this before — she checked the assigned gate and adjacent gates. The assigned was B8; the real gate was B6. She suggested I should wait midway between the two gates.

I was pushed to the Airbus A330-something’s door and walked to my assigned seat. Getting through the door can be tricky, but there are hand-holds so I managed sans further assistance.

The flight TO Israel was via American (MIA-MAD) and El Al (MAD-TLV) Going back, the flights were Iberia all the way.

I’ve flown Iberia before, but I’ve never — until now — felt my lack of Spanish was a handicap. This time, it seemed that the Flight Attendants (FAs) resented anyone not speaking Spanish. Did they learn to be FA’s in France? We all “survived.”

When we arrived at MAD those needing assistance to a connecting flight debarked through another door onto an elevated platform. As at BCN (ibid.), the platform was lowered and we took seats on a special bus to a sequestered area where we were transferred to MAD chairs. Again, passengers never were out of sight of security personnel.

I dislike MAD — it is a large airport and I always have to go what seems to be miles to get to my connecting flight. The wheelchair pusher knew how to get me from Point A to Point B by the shortest route.

As at TLV, my gate was at the far end of the terminal.

My passport was checked (second time by Iberia; first time at TLV).

My pusher, a young fellow who spoke more English than I speak Spanish, parked me near the departure gate where I waited more than an hour for my next flight. He said someone would collect me and get me to the plane’s door. Someone did.

Gratis — free, too

Unlike MIA (and perhaps other U.S. airports), tips are prohibited. At BCN the pushers pointed out security cameras and explained the “No tipping” rule. At MAD, my pusher briefly stopped at his company’s spot to report on my progress. There I read, in English and Spanish, that the service is “gratis.” I did not see similar signs at TLV, but tips are refused.

My MAD-MIA flight was about 15 minutes late pushing back (and about 30 minutes late landing at MIA,) Why? No idea. All other flights were on time or a bit early.

The MAD-MIA leg in another Airbus A330-something was uneventful.

Whoever assigned my seats always managed to put me on the aisle, best for me.

Airline food never is anything “to write home about,” and that’s my last word on that subject.

I lied. A few more words. If you need a kosher meal on any airline (other than El Al) you must order it EVEN FROM TLV. Not all meals are kosher, a surprise for some Israelis who wanted kosher but, failing to order it, settled for “regular” meals. (The kosher meals from MAD were “glatt” and cooked according to Bet Yosef (beshul Israel). I have the certificates.)

 

BACK IN THE USA

The MAD-MIA flight arrived about 30 minutes late. This time, a wheelchair was waiting at the plane's door — this being my final destination.

My pusher, apparently a recent legal immigrate, spoke little English, “but I am learning.” Bravo! And Kol HaKavod!

He was partnered with a more senior pusher and we rapidly went up a level, rode an internal tram, then down a level (the ups and downs to international travel?) and then first to baggage claim — my carry-on size bag came quickly; amazing — and the to passport control where I was welcomed back, asked a couple of questions (anything to declare?) and cleared.

The pusher then pushed me to the tram that runs between the terminals and the Rental Car Center and other local transportation. He said he couldn’t escort me on the train; beyond area.

I managed on my own the short distance between tram and TriRail’s elevator down to the tracks. I bought my ticket ($3.75) and boarded the waiting train. The TriRail ride was normal.

At the depot I called a neighbor for a ride and discovered that my neighbor had a serious problem getting to the station. There was a fatal accident and the sheriff’s deputies had blocked roads in all directions.

I eventually arrived at the manse at about 6:30.

From 1:30 a.m. Israel time to 6:30 p.m. Eastern time (Israel is 7 hours ahead of Miami) makes a   l-o-n-g   day.

It was a nice visit, but next time, let the grandkids come here to visit. (They want to anyway.)

It’s good to be home.

Sources

1. https://www.iberia.com/il/

2. http://tinyurl.com/y7wt998p

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