OBVIOUSLY I HAVE FAR TOO MUCH TIME on my hands.
Here we are, on Day 8 of the Omer — why “Day 8” vs. “Eighth day”? — and I am pondering “May I remove the hair from my neck and still comply with the mourning rules of shaloshim?” which actually are 33 days, until lag (ל"ג) b’omer.
I am not a rabbi and I don’t play one on tv. (The world is grateful.)
In this day and age, when many Jewish males remain clean shaven — for work or shalom biet (beit?) or just because “it itches” — why am I concerned about neck hairs?
Perhaps because this is the season for Avot, commonly called “Ethics of the Fathers” or “Sayings of the Fathers” but in any case comments made by rabbis living between 250 BCE and 250 CE.
These luminaries considered the smallest details of Jewish jurisprudence. Delve into almost any other talmudic work and you may be engaged in nit-picking of the most minute nature.
As far as neck hair goes — from the chin to the clavicle (sorry about that) — I ended up thinking like Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof: On the other hand . . . circular logic.
I am retired, so I don’t have to worry (over much) about a public image or an employer’s frown.
I’ve been bearded longer than I’ve been married; my Spouse never has seen my naked face. My children and grandchildren would not recognize me sans my white beard.
On the other hand — and with Judaism, there ALWAYS is “an other hand” — the first 33 days of the omer are supposed to be like a mourner’s shloshim, the first 30 days after a close relative’s demise. (If you insist on knowing who is considered a “close relative” I commend to you R. Yamin Levy’s Journey Through Grief.1)
Even for mourners there often are ways rabbis can discover to make beards “disappear.” (Here I am referring to traditional rabbis, “modern Orthodox” if you will. And if you won’t, what then?)
The rabbis of old — and maybe the rabbis of “new," too —, tell us that 2400 of R. Akiva ben Yosef’s students died during the omer because they lacked respect for one another. Imagine, R. Akiva ben Yosef, who began his studies some say at age 40, becomes the head of a yeshiva of at least 2400 students ! 2
There are tens, perhaps hundreds, of different editions of Avot. That is not counting the editions found in almost every sedur, traditional, Conservative, and maybe even Reform. They are like Passover hagadot — you cannot have too many.
One of my favorites is Judaica Press’ ©1964, but I’m enchanted with “The Artscroll Children's Pirkei Avos”3 While the latter is allegedly for children — mostly due to Chani Judowitz’ illustrations — Shmuel Blitz’ commentaries on the complete Avot (in mostly Hebrew and English; there is a smattering of Aramaic with English translation) make it suitable for “children” of all ages, even for those בן שבעים לשיבה. 4
My only complain with Avot is that Shamai is not quoted more often. On the other hand, when he IS quoted, he is succinct and his wisdom is plain for all to read.
Aside from almost parenthetical remarks, beards are almost never mentioned, but it is easy to imagine how the rabbis would debate my quandary: Is the neck included as part of the beard that is untouched by a mourner?
The talmuds seem to cover just about everything.
What would the rabbis tell me? Would there be a definitive answer?
Sources
1. Journey Through Grief, Ktav, ISBN 0-88125-802-4, ©2003
2. Masters of the Talmud, A.J. Kolatch, ISBN 0-8546-0434-2, ©2003
3. Artscroll Children's Pirkei Avos, Shmuel Blitz & Chani Judowitz, ISBN-10: 1422615790, ©2015
4. Avot, Chapter 5, Mishnah 21 (in some books, Mishnah 25).
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