"Special Offer | Entire year of prayers for you at the Western Wall"
So declared the email subject line.
The email shows me a picture of three guys, two of which are wearing black coats, with tallits covering their heads and books in front of them, facing the Wall and the words "Tap into the power of prayers said on your behalf at the Western Wall for an entire year!" over printed.
We are told that for a mere US$120 we can "Let Tefilot.org give you the jumpstart you need by having Rabbis and other G-d-fearing men praying for you and those you love right next to the Holy of Holies."
Never mind that no one really knows where the holy of holies is located - the suspicion is that its somewhere under the abomination that sits where the Temple once stood.
The good part is that the US$120 buys not the solar 365 day year but the lunar 385 day year - a 20 day bonus at no extra charge.
Does this mean that I can sleep in and not worry about s'hareet? Maybe skip selihot for the whole month of Elul? Doze through not only the rabbi's dvar Torah but the chazen's all-too-lengthy repetition of the Ahmedah?
Every day?
And will it include minhah and arveet, too.
I can skip Rosh HaShana, Yom Kippor, and haggim when every last opportunity to sell something is exhausted. (I really hate the bidding - has no one ever heard of silent auctions?)
Just what prayers will the "Rabbis and other G-d-fearing men" pray for me? And will their prayers for me - that is, saying the prayers I should be saying - be said for me exclusively or will I be part of a prayer package, something akin to bundled mortgages - and we know what THAT got us.
And what sidur will they use? Mine are Moroccan. What about accent, mef-tah? Can I select a "Rabbi or other G-d-fearing man" from Maknes? What "tam" will they use to recite tahelim (psalms)?
What happens if my "Rabbi or other G-d-fearing man" gets sick or wants to go on vacation. Is there a stand-in?
I know we sometimes go to the graves of tzedkim to ask for their intercession - I am, frankly against that, but it's done and nothing will change it.
We are taught that Jews, unlike some other beliefs, have a direct line to G--d. No middlemen (or middlewomen).
When we confess our sins that we committed against HaShem, we do it directly. No telling someone else and asking for absolution: say three of these and four of those and go forth and don't do whatever it was again. Maybe there ought to be a physical penalty in this physical world - a few chapters of psalms might be good for showing up late for minyan.
I know Tefilot.org means well, but I already see how "professional Jews" - rabbis and chazenim - are expected to "do" the service for the congregation. In many congregations, the members willingly gave up their role as practicing Jews to "let Haim do it."
Maybe Tefilot.org is "just what the doctor ordered" for Jewish men who forgot - or never learned - how to pray . . . in ANY language.
By the way, what about Jewish women.
Maybe Tefilot.org could have some wives of "Rabbis and other G-d-fearing men" light Shabat candles for the woman who is willing to a pay to spend a little more time at the spa - sorry, mikveh.
Paying for a boy to say kaddish for a person who lacks a son is one thing, but paying someone to pray on your - my - behalf - well, it's not for me.
When someone is ill, we say tahelim. A relative of a friend was sick and the friend asked all her female friends to say tahelim every day. This went on for several weeks - each lady saying one chapter-a-day and the ladies rotating chapters. No paying for praying.
A fellow two blocks over manages to make minyans on Shabat by paying bar mitzvahs to show up. I don't like that any more than I like the idea of paying to have "Rabbis and other G-d-fearing men" pray for me. I told one youth that it might be "acceptable" if he was to donate one half of what he's paid to pray to tzdakah - his choice (but not his karen for a new skateboard).
My bottom line: Sorry, Tefilot.org, I'll do my own prayers.
הריני מקבל עלי מצוה עשה של ואהבת לרעך כמוך, והריני אוהב כל אחד מבני ישראל כנפשי ומאודי
