I used to go to a synagogue that had a Sunday school. The school morning started at the same time the Sunday minyan gathered.
I watched as parents, mothers and fathers, dumped their kids off for classes and then hurriedly left the parking lot/dump off point to accomplish Important Errands such as golf or tennis at the club.
Many a Sunday morning we were hard-pressed to "make minyan."
I may seem a bit hard, calling the school door a "dump off point," but that's basically what it was for both parents and children. The kids knew they were being "dumped off" so Mom and Dad could Do Other Things, and no, I don't mean those other things.
The "dump and drive" told the children that Judaism was very low on their parent's list of priorities. Sunday school, and for some less fortunate ones, daily afternoon school, was a punishment.
After all, did Mom and Dad make minyan? Even on Shabat? Maybe a "special" Shabat, but on a "regular" Shabat, these people - parents and children - were rarely seen.
They paid their membership and contributed to all the fund raisers, but PARTICIPATE - don't be silly. That's for someone else.
These same people lived far from the synagogue, preferring non-Jews as neighbors. Economics. Never mind that mixed neighborhoods lead to mixed marriages.
But then, did these parents care at all about their children's connection with Judaism?
Rabbi Marc D. Angel in his weekly email - this one titled Linking the Generations: Thoughts on Parashat Matot, July 23, 2011 noted that
Rabbi Akiba believed that parents transmit to their children six characteristics: physical appearance, strength, wealth, wisdom, longevity, and “mispar ha-dorot lefanav”—the number of generations before (Mishnah Eduyot 2:9). What is meant by this last phrase?
Rabbi Angel went on to explain, at http://www.jewishideas.org/angel-shabbat/linking-generations-thoughts-parashat-matot-ju that
Children are not born into a historical vacuum. They are heirs to the earlier generations of their families. In the case of Jewish children, they are not only heirs to their particular family traditions, but they “inherit” all the previous generations of the Jewish people going back to the time of Abraham.
The rabbi noted, in the next to last paragraph, that
We can most effectively transmit “the number of generations before” not by sending our children to synagogue—but by taking them to synagogue with us. (Emphasis mine.) We can most successfully communicate the values of Torah not by sending our children to study Torah—but by studying Torah with them ourselves. If we want them to be connected to our people and our traditions, we ourselves need to be connected to our people and traditions.
Attending "shul" with the children doesn't guarantee they will follow exactly in their parents' footsteps, but it greatly enhances the chances that the footsteps we followed will be followed by the next generation.
