Salvation Army loses skirmish

When I was a young lad in the Flyin' Corps (with Wilber and Orville), the Salvation Army ran the USO in Orlando FL.

I used to frequent the USO and, although blatantly Jewish, the Army's staff welcomed me, "no questions asked."

Because of that, and the fact that the Salvation Army had a reputation for helping ANYBODY regardless of any race, religion, etc. attributes, over the years I have supported the Army in one way or another.

But no more.

We - my Spouse and I - are moving back to Florida where the temperature and humidity are the same - 95 or higher - where the Palmetto bugs are the size of a B-52s and fly as fast, and where there are no signs warning "Bridge freezes before roadway."

We bought the new house complete with furniture - everything but a dining room.

Since we have everything, including a dining room, we decided to donate some of our furniture to charity.

The local Jewish outlet was too slow - it lists what you offer and distributes the list to various Jewish organizations that may be willing to accept it. If the specific organization wants the item(s) it will "get back" to the donor.

Not having the time, my Spouse called the Salvation Army.

Spouse: "How much notice do you need to come collect furniture?"

Army: "24 hours."

Spouse calls the Army on Thursday and asks for pick up Friday. (The movers are coming Monday to pack and Tuesday to load the truck.)

Army: "Sorry, we can't come Friday. We can come Tuesday. Between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m."

Remember, Tuesday the movers are coming; lots of boxes means lots of traffic through the limited doorways.

Tuesday the movers arrive at 9 a.m. as scheduled. (The Spouse is impressed.)

Tuesday the Army collectors arrive around 10 a.m.

Army: "We can't take this table; it's scratched."

Army: "We can't take this king size bed; we're not allowed to take the frame apart."

One of the mover's loaders took time out, loosened four thumb screws, and disassembled the frame into two parts - TWO PARTS !

Army: "Why can't the movers help us load the (donated) goods?"

Spouse: "Because you are not paying them to move the (donated) goods to your truck !"

So, for the record, what did the Army collect?

• King size bed - relatively new mattress, box springs, head board, frame; very good condition
• Dresser with mirror; very good condition (no scratches; remember, it has to be "scratch free" before the Army will accept it)
• Washer and dryer; very good condition
• Leather chair; very good condition

and a few other odds and ends, all in at least "good" condition - all "saleable."

This is the second time we have moved and given the Army what remained behind.

When we relocated from Florida to Virginia, the Spouse called the Army to collect some furniture.

Basically the same story.

Promise to arrive is broken.

Collectors are incompetent. (No one insists that they be professional movers, but at least don't be shirkers!).

In military terms, the Army is SNAFU.

I still respect the Army for what it does for flood victims and for folks in the military, but I doubt I ever again will donate anything but loose change to the red kettle; I'm certain the Spouse will never again invite the Salvation Army to collect no-longer-needed furniture.

Yohanon Glenn
Yohanon.Glenn @ gmail dot com