יתרו Yethro

 

One of my favorite portions, Yethro, nears.

Yethro, hotan Moshe - Moses' father-in-law - reminds me of my late father-in-law, Eliyahu ben Zohara, z"l.

Whatever positive attributes I have today I have because of my hotan, my father-in-law.

As a hakham once said, you can take the Torah and turn it and turn it and every time something new is discovered.

This time it occurs to me that Yethro has good reason to be angry with his son-in-law; to storm into the Israelite camp threatening bodily harm to Moses.

Consider.

Yethro welcomes Moses into his family, as my father-in-law did for me.

Moses marries one of Yethro's daughters and fathers two sons. My wife and I have two sons, a daughter, and now a grand-daughter.

Shortly after the second son is born, he drags Tzpora from her home and reluctantly heads off to Egypt. When our first son was 10 months old, I took my wife and son to America. (My father-in-law got to meet and spend time with my children, but he died before my daughter wed.)

We know the expedition commences shortly after the birth of the child since it is on the way that G-d "tries to kill" Moses. (שמות ד, כ''ד) Why? Because he failed to circumcise the child. Tzpora has to do the job, telling Moses "חתן-דם אתה לי."

After HaShem convinces Moses to go back to Egypt - it only took THREE miracles: a bush that fire failed to consume, a rod that turned into a snake, and instant leprosy with equally instant cure, Moses goes to Yethro and tells him he wants to return to Egypt to see if his (Moses') brothers are still alive. Yethro, probably thinking (as my father-in-law must have thought) that Moses would soon be returning, told his son-in-law "לך לשלום." (For a discussion of לך לשלום vs. לך בשלום see http://tinyurl.com/b2gulde.)

Fast forward.

Pharaoh finally capitulates and allows Moses, the descendents of Yosef, and some others to leave Egypt. True, he has second thoughts and chases after the hoard only to see his forces drown when the sea that parted for Moses and his crowd closes over Pharaoh's people. How do we know that Pharaoh survived? Well, we are told that אחד מהם לא נותר; the rabbis tell us that one person was Pharaoh; someone had to return to tell the people - and record the disaster for Pharaoh's army. Like the nazis centuries later, the Egyptians carefully recorded almost everything.

In any event, Yethro hears of Moses' exploits and goes, with his daughter Tzpora and her two sons - the Torah consistently refers to the young men as her sons - to meet Moses.

But, knowing "things happen" when a husband is away from his family, Yethro delicately stops before reaching Moses' camp and sends a messenger to announce that "I, thy father-in-law Yethro, am coming to you and bringing your wife and her two sons."

If Yethro was angry for Moses running off and abandoning his family, the Torah makes no mention of this.

Instead, it says that Moses (wisely) "went out to meet his father-in-law and bowed and kissed him." (שמות י''ח, ז)

Moses tells Yethro everything that transpired in Egypt and up to the present point. Yethro, having heard of Moses' exploits earlier (שמות י''ח, א) and then again from Moses his son-in-law, "rejoiced for all the goodness which HaShem had done to Israel and said 'Blessed is the L-rd who brought you out of the hand of the Egyptians. Now I know that the L-rd is greater than all (other) gods'."

Unlike the multitude that came out of Egypt, Yethro believed in HaShem without seeing any miracles. We know that the generation that left Egypt was a rebellious group that, save for two had to die out before we could enter what would become Israel. There is no hint, in Torah, that Yethro became a "חוזר לשאלה."

My father-in-law was a simple man. He lacked a yeshiva education, but he knew the Torah and the laws. He worked hard to see that his children - four sons and three daughters - were educated, both in Judaism and general education.

There was no distinction made between his own children and the men and women his children married - well, almost none; I think, speaking as an in-law, that maybe we, the in-laws, got preferential treatment . . . or maybe it just seemed that way.

Eliyahu ben Zohara, ע''ה, was not a "cohen Midian," but he taught me more than Yethro taught Moses, as a husband, a parent, and as a father-in-law.

...לך ל... או לך ב

 

From R. Eli Mansour's Daily Halacha for July 11, 2011 (http://www.dailyhalacha.com/Display.asp?ClipID=2163)

 

The Mishna Berura (Rav Yisrael Meir Kagan of Radin, 1839-1933) discusses the proper protocol for bidding one’s fellow farewell (110:17). If a person bids somebody farewell in English, it is customary to extend pleasant greetings such as, “Have a good trip” or “Enjoy,” and we sometimes use the Arabic expression for “G-d be with you.” However, the Mishna Berura - Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, the Chofetz Chaim (Poland, 1838–1933) - writes that if one bids his fellow farewell in Hebrew, then he must be very particular in the words he chooses. Namely, he should say, “Lech Le’shalom” (literally, “Go to peace”), and not “Lech Be’shalom” (“Go in peace”). The phrase “Lech Le’shalom” (לך לשלום) implies that the person should find peace at his destination, and this is certainly the kind of wish we would like to extend to our fellow. However, the expression “Lech Be’shalom” (לך בשלום) is used at funerals, Heaven forbid, when we bid farewell to the deceased in front of the coffin. It means that the deceased leaves the world after having completed the mission for which he was sent here. Quite obviously, we do not wish to make such a statement to a living person, and this expression should therefore not be used when bidding farewell to a living person.

This Halacha is alluded to in the Torah, in the description of the tensions that arose between Yosef and his brothers. The Torah relates that the brothers were unable “Dabero Le’shalom” (literally, “to speak with him peacefully” – Bereshit 37:4). Because of their feelings of animosity toward him, they were unable to extend to him the kind greeting of “Le’shalom” which people should use when bidding each other farewell.

Clearly, however, if a person mistakenly wished his friend “Lech Be’shalom,” the friend should not feel anxious or concerned about what this expression might portend. Our Rabbis teach us that if one disregards superstition, then it will not have any effect on him. Rather than worrying about any harmful effects of the greeting, he should politely explain to his friend that Halacha advises people to say “Lech Leshalom,” instead of “Lech Be’shalom.”

Summary: If a person bids farewell to his fellow in Hebrew, he should say “Lech Le’shalom” and not “Lech Be’shalom.”

R. Mansour's Daily Halacha is available by email subscription at http://www.dailyhalacha.com