Flying between Fort Lauderdale FL and Lod in Israel ought to be relatively simple.
Go through baggage and personal security check in Fort Lauderdale and then Passport Control and Customs in Israel.
That's how it OUGHT to work.
Unfortunately, that is not how works.
I had a choice and made the wrong one.
I am - or perhaps was a Delta loyalist. That and a ticket $105 less than another carrier (US Air) caused me to sign up for a Delta-Alitalia combo flight with stops at JFK and in Rome. The US Air flight had one stop - Philadelphia, not the worlds best airport for on time arrivals and departures. (Been there, done that.)
I went through Rome (FCO) and it was "OK." Better, I thought, than MADrid and no worse then London's Heathrow. (Anything and everything is better than Paris' Charles DeGaulle (CDR).)
FLL-…
I went on line to get my boarding passes - plural: FLL, JFK, and FCO.
What I GOT was a boarding pass for FLL.
Never mind that I had a ticket number AND confirmation IDs from both Delta and Alitalia.
When I go to FLL, I checked in and was told I would get JFK>FCO and FCO>TLV boarding passes at JFK. The one bag was checked through to TLV (and it arrived with me on the same flight).
The flights to TLV were uneventful other than the back-and-forth trips at FCO.
Because of construction - hopefully that was the only reason for the back-and-forth challenges - I am "swearing off" FCO. Rather than a jetway we disembarked via stairs (fore and aft; that was nice) and rode buses to the terminal - shades of CDG and the old days at Lod (TLV). We boarded the flight to TLV via a jetway. No explanation offered.
In fact, whenever possible, I will "swear off" all trips with two or more changes of planes. (I could have, should have flown from FLL to PHI to TLV for $100 more; it would have been well worth the extra $$s.)
Welcome to Israel - or not
When I presented my U.S. passport at the Passport Control the sweet young thing asked for my Israeli documents.
I don't have any, I told her.
But you're an Israeli citizen; you lived at - and she recited an address dating back to 1979 - and you need Israeli documents to enter.
A thinking person, she called her supervisor and between them decided to allow me to enter Israel on my U.S. documentation, BUT with the caveat that I could never, ever enter Israel again on my U.S. passport.
I promised to apply for an Israeli passport (and even have the downloaded and completed PDF form to prove it).
Why I don't have an Israeli passport
Several years ago I applied for an Israeli passport at the consulate in Washington DC; the Spouse and I contemplated buying a home in Israel and planned a trip to view the options.
The consulate wasn't satisfied with my Israeli documents and the fact I did not visit Israel every year, but it forwarded my application to Jerusalem; Jerusalem rejected my application and allowed it would issue a temporary travel document good for one year for about 75% of the cost of a multi-year passport. (Does "it's all about money" enter anyone's mind at this point?)
Bottom line, I declined the temporary document and entered/left Israel several times on my U.S. passport. How many times? I discovered that while I don't recall, the Israeli computers know when I entered/left and where I stayed when I was in Israel.
Geshem when we asked for tal
I got to Israel for Pesach - the twins were born on April 24 shortly after my plane arrived and my favorite son-in-law collected me at Lod a/k/a TLV. Very nice of my daughter to wait until I arrived.
There is a small synagogue literally across the street from the kids' apartment. Like my congregation in Hollywood, it's a mixed bag of Sefardim, Mizrachim, and a few Ashkenazim and Habadnikhim tossed in for good measure. Comfortable.
BUT, despite our prayer for tal (dew), HaShem insisted on sending geshem (rain). Worse, it was 80 degrees when I left Florida (and when I returned about four weeks later), but the temperature in Yavne never got about the mid-60s with gale force wind . . . and all I had was a light sweater. (Lesson learned.)
There were too many days when I ended up shivering on a misty morning waiting for someone who had a key to open the door.
In the "Does the rabbi have a 'real' job?" department
The regular rabbi at the congregation has a real job; he's a regular (vs. reserve) member of the IDF's air force. Black hat and suit on Shabat, but Air Force uniform other times. Most of the congregants are, or were, members of the IDF.
Waiting for the brittot
Because the boys are twins, they were relative lightweights at birth. Not "premies" but too light for any expert mohel to agree to perform the brittot. My son-in-law had two lined up and both said the same thing: 2.5 kg is the minimum, so the brittot were delayed until May 12.
Meanwhile there is a four and a half year old grand-daughter to entertain (read "distract from pawing her new brothers") and a pit bull "puppy" who is curious - and who likely will turn out to be the children's defender from all evil - to distract. The Spouse helped our daughter prep for Pesach and handled much of the cooking and cleaning. Despite our daughter's insistence that she needed no help during the night, the grandmother - being a grandmother - spent almost every night holding, feeding, or changing a grandson.
Eat, poop, sleep, repeat.
The brittot were on May 12 at a hall in nearby Rehovot. We had folks from the area and from Bet Shean; Savta Rabah, with a little help from several of her children, managed the trip as did dodim and dodot from Bet Shean and Haifa. In addition to the family, there were the favorite son-in-law's family and several friends and co-workers.
The mohel, apparently with an international reputation, Mordechai Sharaby - no relation to the famous rabbi of the same name - was both an excellent mohel and entertaining.
Back to the USA
Having sat as the sandak for the first born twin, Yohonatan (his brother is HarEl), my "work" in Israel was compete. On the Monday after the brittot, my favorite son-in-law took me to the airport close to midnight for a 5:50 a.m. flight. (I'm a "nervous Nelly" and never wait for the last minute.)
The initial check went OK.
A sweet young thing got me boarding passes for TLV>FCO, FCO>JFK, and even JFK>FLL, but reminding me that I would have to collect my luggage at JFK for Customs' inspection.
TLV > FCO
The Alitalia flight (AZ 809) was on a packed Airbus A3something. There were at least two tour groups on board; a large group was heading to Rome and then on to Morocco. I wish I could have joined the group, but it was not in the plans.
When the Flight Attendants passed out the meals, I was offered a tref meal. I told the steward I was supposed to have a kosher meal. His reply: We don't have a kosher meal for you. He showed me there was no kosher meal marked on my TLV>FCO boarding pass (there was on the FCO>JFK leg). My reply: Am I supposed to know airline codes? Is it the passenger's job to double-check everything an airline employee does (or does not do)?
I don't know the guy's name, but he was the only steward working the cheap seats (economy class) If anyone from Alitalia reads this, I'm sure they can identify the guy. Resigned to miss a meal - no big deal; I can afford to lose some weight and the flight was only 5 hours - a stewardess chanced by and my neighbor in the next seat complained that I was sans food and related the steward's attitude. The stewardess said she's check into the matter and shortly returned with a kosher meal.
Two asides
Aside 1:: I know that the terms "steward" and "stewardess" are passé and perhaps "sexist," and that the PC term is "Flight Attendant," but I want to be clear that it was the male FA that helped drop Alitalia's preference with me and at least one tour guide's wife from "OK" to "only as a last resort" carrier.
Aside 2: The kosher meal, from Amsterdam, was marked "Glatt Kosher." The meal's main course was fish. There was no meat, and only meat can be "glatt." Not fish, not poultry, not dairy, not parve - only meat from a four-legged animal (e.g., cattle, deer, sheep).
Flight AZ 809 made it to FCO without additional complaints.
It was easier - that is required less travel - to go from the arrival gate to the departure gate - via yet another personal inspection - than the flight from the U.S.
Someone please explain to me why a traveler who is inspected before he/she board the first flight and is confined to a transfer terminal must go through the whole
Remove the computer
Remove your shoes
Remove your belt and hat
Stand and be radiated
Process every time there is a change of aircraft.
Checked luggage gets a "pass" (until it his U.S. Customs and then it's reinspected by TSA. (Nothing seemed to be missing after the TSA inspection at JFK.)
FCO > JFK
Alitalia Flight AZ 602 from FCO to JFK was better at least for me; Alitalia may think otherwise since there were more than a few empty seats. My new neighbor got his vegetarian meals - he got his introduction to Italian red (blood?) orange juice - and I got my kosher, almost-thawed meals.
The flight arrived at JFK a few minutes early and then had to wait until the Airbus A3something was towed to a parking slot.
I confess to being concerned that I would miss my connecting flight to Dania Beach FL (alias FLL ) since I had to go through passport control (U.S. passport holders must use a passport reader - simple enough once you figure out where to insert the passport picture page.)
Although the lines were long - think of the queues at a theme park - they moved fairly quickly; the passport readers are quick and even geezers can use them if they take a moment to read the instructions. Manual passport checks are not an option at JFK, but there are many people to help and only U.S. passport holders use the machines. Passports, with the machine's confirmation, still are manually checked before the traveler is allowed to go collect any baggage from the carousel.
By the time I got to the carousel my bag already was off the turn-table. (The sweet young thing in Israel tagged the bag for a connecting flight, expediting the off-loading at JFK.)
After clearing passport Control and collecting my lone suitcase, I checked out through Customs sans delay.
?
From Customs I had to walk to the Connecting Flights area. Although my connectng flight was Delta, the sign read "Alitalia." For all that, the counterman qquickly accepted my sole suitcase and told me my connecting flight was at Gate 68 of Terminal 2. He told me to take the train to Terminal 2 and pointed me the the general direction of the intra-airport tram.
I left the building and walked across the street to the three-level Terminal 1 tram depot. I got on the first train that came by - turns out it was going the "wrong way" but it stopped at every terminal so I arrived at Terminal 2 in short order with a little help from friendly (!!) New Yorkers.) Stops were announced as "Next stop" and "This stop" loudly and clearly.
I rode the elevator down to ground level, saw the sign for Delta and rolled my bag across the street and into Terminal 2. Inside I asked where were departures and was told on the second floor - my choice: stairs or elevator. I chose the elevator.
I went through - again - the personal search (ibid.) and then on to Gate 68 for Delta Flight DL 2152.
The plane, a noisy MD88 stretch job, arrived on time from MCO. Passengers for FLL boarded - there were perhaps 20 passengers for the 150-seat aircraft.
Benefit of noisy aircraft
Having been up for roughly 22 hours - my favorite son-in-law dropped me off at Lod just before midnight his time (7 p.m. Florida time) I was now ready for some serious snoozing.
Since DL 2152's cheap seats largely were vacant, and since my seat was near the engines, I was able stretch out across three seats and doze, knowing that the engine noise was louder than my snoring.
I managed to sleep for about a third of the trip, woke up and was asked by one of two thoughtful FAs if I wanted something to drink. Before she could return from the galley, the second thoughtful FA asked the same question. (There was a third FA, but she was relegated to the fairly full Big Bucks passenger section.)
Having sated my thirst and snacked on pretzels, I went back to sleep until roughly a half-hour before landing. Great flight!
I have to admit I am a Delta loyalist, but I think my loyalty will be limited to domestic flights. Because of the Delta leg I was unable to get my Alitalia boarding passes online for the TLV > FLL return flight (even though the JFK > FLL flight had an Alitalia flight number).
I'm glad to sleep in my own bed and to raid my own fridge and drive where I need or want to go.
Now, if only the U.S. Post Office will resume delivery to my mailbox . . . I got an email from the USPS telling me it would do this, but past experience belies it. (Surprise; the USPS delivered as promised.)
The Red, White, and Blue always looks great when you've been elsewhere.
Next, a trip to the Israel consulate
On the immediate agenda is a trip to Miami and the Israel consulate. Armed with two 2*2 inch (5*5 cm) mug shots on a plain white background and the completed on-line form I will, once again and for the last time, apply for an Israeli passport. If Jerusalem again deems me unworthy of a very limited use (compared to a U.S. passport) document, I will exercise my one remaining option. But, here's hoping Jerusalem has had a change of heart (or at least a change of ministers).
