I was actually paying attention as the hazan was reading חיי שרה last Shabat and I was struck that Abraham had to send his servant/slave (עבד) to find a wife for his son Isaac.
Because I have a curious mind, I started to wonder: Why couldn't Isaac get up and go off to Haran, from whence his father came, to find a wife? Others had managed to find wives on their own. I can't give HaShem credit for the first sheduk (שידוך) since Havah, a/k/a Eve, was taken from Adam; no one asked her if she wanted him, and a sheduk is made when both sides agree.
I asked a rabbi I know why it is that
- Ishmael found a wife who gave him 12 tribes (בראשית י''ד כ)
- Yakov was sent to find a wife (בראשית כ''ח 2) and found two.
- Esau found a wife for himself. (בראשית כ''ח 9)
- The kings of Israel found wives for political advantage.
- The sons of Benjamin found wives (dancing before them).
- Ruth found a husband (Boaz).
- Isaac, on the other hand, had to have a wife brought to him (בראשית כ''ד 4).
In fact, Abraham cautions his servant that if the servant fails to find a wife for Isaac in Haran, he is not to take Isaac to Haran (בראשית כ''ד). According to a footnote in the Soncino humash, 2nd edition (page 82), Abraham was concerned that Isaac - who midrash tells us was raised in a yeshiva - might abandon the land promised to Abraham.
The rabbi asked me if this wasn't how it - finding a bride - was done presumably in Isaac's time. I replied that I am old - certainly older than the rabbi - but I'm not THAT old. Then he asked how it was done in the 19th century. Again, I'm not so old that I was alive in the 1800s. (It is confusing - the 1900s were the 20th century; I know that because I used to go to to movies and often saw "20th Century Fox" displayed on the big screen.)
Isaac has a reputation for staying close to home; he was a placeholder for Judaism between his father and his son Yakov; Abraham did things and went places; ditto Yakov whereas midrash tells us that Isaac stayed home and studied in yeshiva. Midrash is interesting, but it is not Torah.
Was Isaac a Momma's boy? Was he unfit to travel to find a bride? Was he, as Abraham may have thought (given the Soncino footnote) weak willed and easily influenced?
Conjecture. Supposition. Certainly not rabbinicaly sanctioned thoughts. But then I'm not a rabbi, nor am I a heretic. None of the avot (or emahot) are perfect; all fall short.
Quick Quiz
Q1: How many times did HaShem command: "Be fruitful and multiply"?
Q2: How many times does HaShem tell us "Don't cook a kid in its mother's milk"?
A1: 3 - בראשית א' 22, א' 28, ט' 1
A2: 3 - דברים י''ד 21 ,שמות ל''ד 26 , שמות כ''ג 19
- Ishmael found a wife who gave him 12 tribes (בראשית י''ד כ)
