It is almost Adar Bet Time to PANIC!

Pesach is almost here

It's Sunday morning, the 23rd of Adar Aleph (Adar 1) .

There are seven more days left in Adar 1 (not counting today.)

Purim falls on the 14th of Adar - Adar Bet (2) if there is an Adar Bet otherwise the 14th of Adar 1.

Doing the math, I see we have 21 days before Purim.

We haven't yet even lost an hour on the clock as the government messes with our minds.

But The Spouse went into

PESACH PANIC MODE

She'll remain in this mode until Mimunah, when all of our friends suddenly become "Moroccans for a night." (Wonderful time.)

Now we have a smallish house - two bedrooms and the office, plus a couple of bathrooms and a two-car garage that can't be used for cars due to all the other "stuff" inside: sukkah wood, gas burner for frying Friday night fish; the usual things one finds in a Jewish family's garage.

She is not quite as bad as her mother used to be. Mother-in-Law, whom I love dearly, used to whitewash all the walls of the quarters she shared with her late husband. Wiping down the walls, as my "modern" wife does, was insufficient for my M -  I -  L.

Sara tackled the guest room today.

The furniture is moved.

The mattress and innersprings are tipped out of the bed frames. We argue: does she help me or does she not? I win; she does not. The slats are removed.

First she does a "once over lightly" with a dust mop, then comes the furniture polish and rag to get into every nook and cranny of the bed frame.

Meanwhile, I bring out the 6-foot A-frame ladder to dust the ceiling fan's blades and light fixture.

Before the innersprings can be restored to their position, she wipes it down: top, bottom, and sides.

Next comes the mattress; same procedure.

Now the floor is attacked where furniture will once again be placed. Fortunately, several years go (about this time of year on the Jewish calendar if I recollect correctly), I bought and installed "sliders" under the corners of all the furniture. (I used a floor jack to raise the bed, corner by corner.)

The vacuum is silenced and I bring in the small three-tier step-stool to being down the curtain rod and the curtains hanging from it. Off come the curtains - dainty things - and soon are in the washing machine.

Meanwhile, the mattress pad and bed covers had been airing out in the driveway (we're forbidden by the mafia that controls the Homeowners Association to have clothes lines in the backyard so putting the stuff in front is a bit of "Residents' Revenge"; prohibiting clothes lines hidden in the back yard makes a lot of sense in south Florida where a wash can dry in 30 minutes or less.).

The Spouse busies herself with "other things" until the wash is done.

Once washed and dried in a non-environmentally friendly electric dryer, the curtains are restored to their normal location and the floor is (re-)vacuumed; no footprints allowed.

This week I have the pleasure of Pesach prepping the office.

Mind, hametz is strictly forbidden in the office. Weak cold tea and hot coffee are the only things allowed from the kitchen to the office. I even remember to "de-crumb" myself before approaching the room. (My wife is not the only crazy one in the family.)

I don't mind doing the office. It's my space and I can put things where they are convenient for me. It does necessitate getting on the small, 3-tier ladder to reach some pictures and to move around some "must have close at hand" books. Once back on the floor, I get to empty each drawer, dust it inside and out, and - having dusted each item that was in the drawer, return the item . . . to be forgotten until next year. (Is there hametz in a dry erase marker? Would a dog eat it if there were?)

Once I'm done with the office my next job puts me back on the 6-foot A-frame ladder dusting the hanukiah (Hanukah menorahs) collection and the walls on which they sit. There are (now) only about 20 hanukiote; there were more, but when the kids moved into their own homes they took their favorites with them.

For me, the rest is all downhill. Empty, dust, and refill my clothes drawers; hose down the outside of the windows (and spray the accordion shutters with their annual shot of lubricant while I'm at it).

Finally, wash the cars, pull out and wash all the mats and wash them.

But I have to hurry. Purim is only 21 days away and from then to Pesach . . .

Funny thing is, we do not envy our neighbors who either limit cleaning to the kitchen and dining room or the folks who wink at "spring cleaning" and hide their hametz behind taped kitchen doors.

With our grand-daughter in Israel, all this pre-Pesach prep makes up a little for not having any small hands to help in the search for hametz - we do it, but it's no fun.

Food for the poor, food for thought

This morning we had a schnorer collecting money to help the poor buy Passover provisions.

Without going in to my opinion of schnorers from Israel coming to the States to beg, I will suggest that Rambam - Moses ben Maimon, a/k/a Maimonides - was right when he told us that our charity - check that, our obligation - begins at home and works outward:

* Family
* Jewish Community
* City
* Country
* Israel
* Rest of the World

While it is commendable to donate to schnorers from Israel, or, for that matter, any place, we need to set aside a greater portion for the poor in our midst. Trust me, there ARE Jewish poor, especially in this economy.

While we are told that even a poor person must give צדקה - and to repeat my earlier point, tzdakah is NOT "charity," it is an obligation that falls on all of us - we should distribute our resources to others based on Rambam's approach (ibid.).

Here in southeast Florida we have several food banks. There's a Jewish - therefore "kosher products" - food bank almost within walking distance. My wife occasionally works there and the food bank is a frequent debit entry into the check book. As it should be.

Typically, in Conservative and Reform congregations, the schnorer approaches the religious leader who gives from the congregation's Discretionary Fund. In so-called "Orthodox" congregations, the schnorers approach the rabbi who then lets the congregants know it's OK to donate; the schnorer's purpose it legitimate.

Here, most schnorers check in with a committee that issues - rubber stamps, actually - a document certifying the schnorer's purpose.

Pesach - Passover - is nigh. Passover prices likewise are both "nigh" and "high." Local food banks need help, both financial and physical.

If you don't know if there is a food bank - Jewish or otherwise - in your community, ask a rabbi or synagogue administrator. Check at the JCC or Federation office.

Failing that, check on line. I used the Dogpile (http://www.dogpile.com) search engine to find "Jewish food banks in South Florida" and got several hits. Unfortunately, the hits failed to include my nearby food bank. (Turns out "We Are One" lacks a Web presence, ergo no hit.)

Now - a note to food merchants.

I understand why prices are raised for the Passover buying season.

Supply and demand.

The manufacturers and wholesalers raise their prices as the demand from Jews who might keep "semi-kosher" for a meal or two increases. (Semi-kosher in that the food left the market kosher, then went into a non-kosher utensil to cook, later to be served on non-kosher plates and eaten with non-kosher knives, forks, and spoons. Still, if it is the thought that counts. . .) I cannot fault the food chain for the higher prices given the sudden, and brief, demand.

But we keep kosher year round.

It would be nice if one of the markets offered us either (a) coupons valid for Pesach products or (b) a discount card valid for Pesach products.

We have many kosher markets in the area; if any one offered a break to its regular customers on Pesach prices, we’d probably make that our primarily market. As would our circle of friends (mostly Sefardim/Mizrachim, so Bet Yosef/Halak meat is in order.)

I suggested this in the past, but the words always fell on deaf ears.

Back to the point: It's fine to give, directly or indirectly (via the congregation's Discretionary Fund), to out-of-town schorners, but remember to take care of the Jews in your own community.

And once Pesach is over, remember that people still have to eat; just because you celebrated memunah doesn't mean you should cease giving to the food bank.

Find a food bank in your community - ask at the synagogue, the JCC, the Federation - and support it however much you are able.