IT IS AMAZING that after centuries of dispersion and diversion, that most of our practices are similar.
There are, however, a few differences that make life interesting.
The following considers only traditional Jewish practices. Contact a Conservative, Reform, or other religious leader to learn how it is done in their congregation — if it is done at all.
There are many books on the differences, and anyone picking up sedurim (prayer books) and machzorim (prayer books for the festivals) can compare them.
However, the best book I have found is by R. Israel Meir Lau. His book,
יהדות הלכה למעשה .
R. Lau discusses different traditions and never claims that one minhag is “kosher” and another is not “kosher.” R. Lau is highly respected in both Sefardi/Mizrachi and Ashkenazi communities for his wisdom and openness. The book is written in relatively easy Hebrew (that is, I can read and understand it, and Hebrew for me is a distant second to English).
The following is not concerned with either the order of prayers or piyutim that often are unique to a geographical area.
Going out and Coming in
Jewish fellow is considering a move into a retirement home.
He notices that there are no mezuzot (mezuzahs) on the doors.
He asks the sales person about the absence of mezuzot.
Sales person: You’ve heard about central tv antennas on the roof?
Jew: Yes, sure.
Sales person: We have a central mezzuzah.
While I have seen mezuzot on a slant in some Sefardi homes — and I have seen Sefardi homes with both slanted and vertical mezuzot; היקר שיש מזוזות the important thing is that there are mezuzot on the doors.
Originally mezuzot were mounted vertically, like a sans serif “I”. I am given to understand that R. Tam wanted to mount the mezuzot horizontally (–). In order to honor both R. Tam and his grandfather, Rashi, the people decided to affix the mezzuzah on a slant (\). Since both Rashi and R. Tam were Ashkenazi, Ashkenazi mezuzot generally are mounted on a slant.
Sefardim pretty much mount their mezuzot straight up and down.
To the best of my knowledge, the SIZE of the kosher klaf doesn’t matter, but it seems logical that the smaller the klaf, the more expensive since the sofer stam (writer of Sefer Torah, Tefillin, and Mezuzot) faces a greater challenge to write tiny, properly formed letters.
The mezzuzah case may be whatever suits your fancy, but outdoor cases should be made to keep out moisture. In some ancient instances, spaces were dug out of plaster, the klaf inserted and the plaster sealed with the klaf in place. The klaf is what’s important, not the “house” (בית) that holds it.
היקר that there are mezuzot at the doors.
What needs mezuzot and what dosen’t? Ask your rabbi.
Singles’ ID
Most Sefardim and Mizrachim males start wearing a large tallit (תלות גדול) at their bar mitzvah. Many Ashkenazi males have a tradition to only don a large tallit when called to the Torah.
Why? Ashkenazi tradition holds that a man cannot be happy, and worthy of being adorned with a tallit until he is married. Once wed, the Ashkenazi male wears his tallit at morning services. (Ashkenazim also wear a tallit when leading afternoon and evening services; Sefardim do not.)
A girl looking for a hatan (husband) only has to look at the men sans tallit gadol to know who is eligible. Pity the Sefardi miss — all the men from bar mitzvah age up are wearing a large tallit. How’s a poor girl to know? (Just ask; every mother knows which males are unattached.)
Among those who wear a tallit katan or “arba kanfot,” there are those who wear the tzit-tzit (strings) outside their trousers and those who tuck them in.
While there may be 50 ways to leave your lover1, there probably are as many ways to put on a large tallit. A student of tallit wearers might be able to tell who is what by the way the tallit is put on, much as a student of the harideem can tell to what sect a man belongs by his head covering (or the way he wears his socks).
The one thing consistent is that the large tallit must be big enough to enwrap the person and to have two tzit-tzit in front and two in back; a “scarf” is too small to meet the enwrapping and front-and-back tzit-tzit requirements.
There are perhaps a half-dozen ways to tie the knots in the tzit-tzit. Two predominate. The primary ways to knot tzit-tzit are “kosher” if they are otherwise kosher tzit-tzit.
The most common knot-wrap combinations are 10-5 & 6-5 and 7-8-11-13.
Slapping leather
As with donning the tallit, there are many ways to put on tefillin.
Ashkenazim generally wrap inward (clockwise) while Sefardim wrap outward (counter-clockwise).
Almost all hand tefillin will be wrapped someplace to form the letter shin (ש). For Ashkenazim, the shin usually is on the hand; for Sefaridim, usually on the bicep.
Everyone wraps seven complete turns. Usually there is a half turn above the elbow and a half turn at the wrist. These half-turns do not count as part of the seven.
Everyone I’ve seen makes three wraps around their middle finger, but there are variations on that, too.
May a Sefardi wear Ashkenazi tefillin and vice versa. Ask your rabbi. There IS a slight difference in the way the paragraphs are spaced on the klaf. (I am not a posek and I don’t play one on tv.) Beyond the spacing issue, to wear the other minhag’s tefillin means rearranging the strap on the hand tefillin. Just remember to put the strap (רצועה) back the way it was.
Sefaridim sit when putting on the hand tefillin and stand when putting on the head tefillin. Only one blessing is recited (for the hand) as long as there are no interruptions between the hand and head tefillin. Ashkenazim stand for both and recite separate blessings for both. The tefillin yad (hand) is wrapped bicep-to-the hand, the head tefillin is put on, and then the hand tefillin is completed with the wraps around the finger.
Taking off the tefillin is done in reverse to the way they were put on.
Many sedurim have “how to” pictures, but beware, the pictures are for the minhag of the sedur.
Sefardim leave their tefillin in the bag during festivals, including the intermediate days (hol ha’moed). Ashkenazim put on tefillin during hol ha’moed. In a congregation dominated by Ashkenazim, the Sefardim may be asked to find a new place to pray the morning prayers. (See “Basic Rule: When in Rome…” later in this effort.)
היקר that men don tefillin on weekdays.
Standing for the “18”
There are a few obvious differences between the ahmedah (עמידה) or “18” for Ashkenazim and for Sefardim/Mizrachim..
Ouch
Ashkenazim smack their chest when they say סלח לנו (forgive us). Sephardim do not.
Summer prayer and winter prayer
Sefardim have separate paragraphs for summer and for winter while Ashkenazim simply change a few words to go from tal (dew) in the summer to tal and matar (rain) for winter.
Cohanim
In Sefardi/Mizrachi congregations, cohanim bless the kahal (congregation) at every morning service since the Torah clearly states that the cohanim are “commanded to bless the people Israel in love”
וצונו לברך את עמו ישראל באהבה
On days when musaf is read, the cohanim in Sefardi congregations bless the people again.
Depending on which Ashkenazi tradition is followed, and where the person is making minyan, the cohanim may bless the congregation on festivals and/or during the 10 days.
In my mixed Sefardi/Mizrachi and Ashkenazi congregation, the cohanim are Ashkenazi, but they bless the congregation at every opportunity.
Basic rule: When in Rome . . . In other words, if an Ashkenazi is praying in a congregation where the majority are Sephardim/Mizrachim, the Ashkenazi should follow the majority’s minhag; and vice versa, of course.
There are debates in many congregations
Should only married cohanim be allowed to bless the congregation?
Should a pre-bar mitzvah boy be allowed to bless the congregation?
If a cohen cannot, or refuses, to bless the congregation, the cohen leaves the room until the blessing is completed.
Crossed legs
In some (read Moroccan) congregations if a person sits with crossed legs he may be asked to either (a) uncross his legs or (b) leave (willingly or under escort). This is an Arab thing; showing the sole of your shoe or foot is a huge insult among Arabs. 2 If showing the sole of a shoe is an insult to a human judge (in Morocco); how much more of an insult to the Judge of Judges!
This may go beyond Morocco to all North African and, perhaps, Mizrachi congregations, too.
Shake, shake, shake your lulav
Ashkenazim generally stand in one spot and shake their lulav to the west (assuming they are facing east) over their shoulder.
Sefardim and Mizrachim on the other hand, turn to each direction, and always clockwise. Within the Sefardi community there are different traditions. The Moroccan tradition is
South
North
East
Up
Down
West
The important thing is to “bench Lulav,” as the Ashkenazim say.
In most Sefardi congregations, a person sans lulav and etrog still can join the hakafot (the walk around the reader’s stand where the sefri Torah are placed). More typically, one person loans his lulav and etrog to another — on the condition that it be returned — to the other person can make the walk with the symbols of the festival.
היקר that there are lulavs to wave and etrogim to hold.
Sources
1. 50 ways: https://tinyurl.com/yakcdfwq
2. Sole insult: https://tinyurl.com/yahfsjmh
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